I believe in love. But I also believe that there is more gray area than we assume at first glance. From my experience and observations, I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of love: falling in love with someone else’s personality, falling in love with the idea of love, and falling in love with how someone makes you feel.
The first is the traditional, together forever bullshit from romantic comedies. This is where my suspicion rears its ugly head. How can someone fall in love with another’s personality? You can never know for sure what is going on in their head. Also, thinking of this as a scientific equation (romantic huh?), we have to look at the fact that there are 7 billion people in the world. Even “unique” mannerisms that we find so endearing are probably repeated once or twice. So when people say that there is “one true love”, they are scientifically incorrect. And for that matter, there’s the theory that you can fall in love with anyone as long as they let you see the real them. But hmm let’s see here, my cat doesn’t hide anything from me, does that mean I could fall in love with her? Where’s my Macklemore “Same Love” for that situation?
The next is the cliché that I have absolutely no experience with. I’m honestly curious how someone could fall in love with the idea of love when we have grown up to learn that it hurts no matter how romantic. I am definitely a hopeless romantic; don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I also want to protect my heart fiercely. It’s like wearing a condom over my heart while I’m dating. Efficient right? I recommend this. Falling in love with the idea of love is not a smart idea, you’re only going to hurt yourself, because there is virtually no other participant in this love story.
The last is the one we have all cried into our pillow over. If you say you haven’t, you’re lying. The single worst feeling in the world is wondering why you aren’t good enough. But here’s the kicker, you never had this feeling before this significant other came into your life. He/she made you feel amazing and when he/she left you’re not mourning the loss of the relationship, you’re mourning the loss of feeling amazing. Now you feel as if you’re not good enough. But the only thing that changed over the situation was the other person, you were always amazing. That’s why I think before you fall in love with anyone for real, you have to fall in love with yourself, because they are probably the only one that will ever truly understand your messed up mind.
I am not a cynic; I am a hopeless romantic with a realistic edge. Don’t bury your head in Nicolas Sparks, question what love actually entails.